Friday, June 13, 2008

Announcement

Come back to my blog tonight at 12am. There will be a contest. The annerny.blogspot.com first contest. Be excited.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Women Nowadays...

It was five in the evening in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. My car was just 3 inches behind a classic white Datsun, hand written "JJ 6821" on a cardboard hanging behind it's rusty back and 4 inches in front of metallic maroon Honda Accord. It was a Honda Accord 2.0 VTi with 2.0 liter R-series SOHC i-VTEC engine to be exact! To be more specific, the driver was a lady. In her late twenties I guess. A high power kind of businesswoman with a pair of very attractive eyes I would say. And ya, how about the Datsun driver you might ask. Never mind him. He is not the one I was distracted to anyway.

It was those KL's traffic jam where your car moved from point A to point B (10meters) in just, oh well, not that long, just a good 15minutes. If your bladder is full and ready to explode anytime on its own just like mine, you can double the time duration. Traffic was moving very slowly and eventually it came to a complete stop (hallelujah!). And it was the time when you can do nothing, absolutely nothing but check your message inbox, sing along with Mr Michael Buble, "Come FLY With Me" and occasionally check out Miss Mysterious Eyes in her Accord. There she was, blowing her fingernails, making calls, giggle and admiring her own nails again and again.

She was the polite and rich girl I assumed. The soft spoken type. The cover-her-mouth-when-laughing type. But I wonder how in the world she get her Accord, brand new. From her rich daddy or her rich sugar daddy? Or maybe she bought it with her own hard earned money? Fine. Let say she bought it, and I'm driving a Kenari which I borrowed earlier today. I'm jealous.

In a couple of minutes, the lane next to me started moving. I tried everything I possibly could to get into that lane, but nobody was willing to let my small car squeeze in. I had my left signal on, I was smiling and waving, I was holding up money, I was blowing kisses, I was doing everything, yet nobody even let me in.

Finally, a gentleman was kind enough to let me pull into the lane in front of him. I thought, "All right! At last I can get going!" But just as my car head pointing to that lane, the flow of the traffic in that lane stopped again, and I had to slam on the brakes. Meanwhile, my previous lane, the white Datsun, started moving! And there we go, now we have another jackarse in Kenari blocking the traffic again. The soft spoken lady I was stalking earlier, honking and and grumbling away in her car. The best part, I was honoured to judge her newly painted finger nails. No, check that. her finger NAIL. Oh, you see, she only showed me a finger, the longest one among the five. The middle one. All I can say is, it was very well manicured.

I reached home 7pm. I went straight to my toilet before saying "Hi" to my mum.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I'm An Orge

It leaked out accidentally. Out of my control. It came out with a sharp Piiuuutt (slightly louder than Woon Bing's). I felt the eyes of the Old Town Kopitiam customers shift to me. Lips stopping at midsentence. Heads turning. Crystal glass hit the ground with a loud cling. Pigeons flying off, unfortunately those that were underneath my chair, passed out.
I seriously don't know that it was from me until those hatred eyes were upon me. As if i did a terrible thing. I normally control my farts, but this time, ...rare. No warnings were given to me. So you can't blame me and maybe because of the 2 days constipation, the smell is stronger this time than those usual ones, unbearable.
But why those stares? I'm sure everyone farts. Either in public or during shower. Just because it's a fatman farting so I deserve to be criticised? It's really sad, last time when I was much slimmer, whenever I fart, people will run towards me just to get their part of blessing from me. Now that I'm 94kg and farts, I look like a bad ogre that scares people off. Reality hurts. Now I know how it feels to be fat. Laughed by friends, rejected by society and arse treated as punching bag for those poor children whose parents can't afford to buy them toys!
I need help. I want to be me again. Help.

I don't wanna be like him

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Just came back from Malacca few hours back. I wasn't really in a good mood today. Things happened. My family is having a problem now, stressed from work especially from my lady boss, problem in relationship. The worst part is when people talk bad about you, really bad things which pulls you down. For that moment, you believe what they said is true and you feel bad about yourself too. I was like that for the past 3days. I wanted to call someone but I told myself my friends are most probably too busy, so in the end I didn't talk to anyone. Until just now, called up one of FORMX and I really feel good after that. I mean when the world is all against me, I'm glad I have him by my side, who stood beside me all this while. Who is there when I need him. He cheered me up.

"People might say things or even look down on you
but don't forget you have us (Formx)
who is always by your side no matter what happens"
- Tan Teck Jhim

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Gain Weight With Anthony

After posting how I gained 19kg, I received many calls. They all asked the same question, they all have the same problem I had. They are going through what I've been through, skinny and small. And now, they have found their weight management instructor. You don't need herbalife to gain 2 miserable pounds in 4weeks anymore. I'll teach you how to save your hundreds and increase your weight in just 1 week.

Here's my usual meal schedule, follow them and I guarantee you'll be Mr Incredible in no time.

Breakfast:

  1. 1 pack of nasi lemak (tambah nasi and tambah kuah manyak manyak)
  2. Char Kuey Teow

Brunch:

  1. Fried Rice with sausages or nuggets

Lunch:

  1. 1 Large Spicy Mcdeluxe Set Meal (don't forget your apple pie for dessert)
  2. 1 KFC Dinner Plate

Tea Time 1:

  1. A dozen J.CO donuts (Big Apple if no J.CO nearby)

Tea Time 2:

  1. RM3 pisang goreng and RM2 curry puff

Dinner:

  1. Bak Kut Teh with 8 bowls of rice.

Dinner 2:

  1. Mcflurry

Supper:

  1. 1 Roti Bom and 1 Roti Kosong

Important note: Always remember to lie down after every meal.


Friday, May 9, 2008

Impossible Is Nothing


THEN

7 months back, this was me..

NOW

Nothing is impossible..

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Fei Chai

Three months working in Malacca, I gained experience. Its not easy to sell a property but the challenge is there. Rather than just sit in the office from 9 till 5, this is much more exiting. I get to meet bosses, chat with them over a cup of coffee, get their contact and the next thing I know, I'm their new friend.

Three months working in Malacca, I also gained 19kg!! Now I'm officially fat. I was 73kg back in KL, 3 months later, I'm 92kg! I'm extremely fat now. I think its karma la, I used to laugh at big size guys and now I'm one of them. My chest used to stand tall, firm and proud of themselves. Now, they are somehow moody, sad look and sagged. My six packs...sigh, now people refer it as belly. Not to mention end my huge arms, everytime when I lift either one of them, I sweat. Yes, I have a hard time lifting them, even for just 90degrees, believe it or not.

When I bathe, I can't even see my legs anymore, sometimes if I skip my dinner, then only can I see my toes. And here comes wearing socks time, I got to bend over, pressed against my belly, stretched my fat arms, reaching for my feet and trust me for that few seconds, I felt like giving up right there itself. I took 33 seconds to wear on one feet.

And there's a reason why you don't see me in FGA anymore. I have to attend a new church where no one knows me. My self esteem is all the way down. Even if you were to see me, you won't recognize me. I'm not the same skinny active Anthony anymore. Now I'm fat, lazy, clumsy and I love to eat. I eat a lot. 9 meals a day to be exact.

And it's just painful how people look at me now, they point fingers at the fat me, they laugh, they avoid me. Even my mum said I put on weight. But you know mothers, never say bad things bout their children. She said "you're chubby and cute mar, now we don't have to buy soft teddy bear for your nephew anymore, you'll be his toy, he'll love you more".